Belonging or Feeling Like You Don’t Belong.

Belonging to a place or a cultural group is important for our well being. But God knows when we don’t fit and may use the experience to redirect us.

Leftover Puzzle Pieces

Have you ever stared at puzzle pieces and wonder if they really belong with this puzzle? Maybe the company accidentally added an extra piece of two into the box. Have you ever finished putting together a picture puzzle and found a piece you didn’t need? My daughter had that happen to her. The left-over piece was identical to another one she had already used to complete the picture.

Feeling Like You Don’t Belong

In life, have you ever been somewhere you felt like you didn’t belong? Maybe it was an unfamiliar place or situation. It might be because you are the new person at school, church, or work and it takes time to learn everyone’s names and the routines. However, it could also be because others exclude you and you might never know the real reasons behind why they do that.

People like and need to feel accepted and loved. We want to belong, to fit in, and to be comfortable in our environment. We may enjoy visiting a new place, but the space we occupy on a day- to-day basis needs to be somewhere safe.

Belonging in the City

I am a city girl. Even though I have lived in small communities and in isolated communities in Northern Saskatchewan where I needed to adapt, the majority of my life has been spent in the city. Over the last few years, I have spent time out at the stables with my youngest daughter as she did her riding therapy. This adventure made me feel out of place, like I knew nothing because I didn’t know anything about horses except, I liked how they looked.

The coach and a helper walked Amee through the steps to groom a horse. Then she learned how to put the halter on the horse in the corral and lead the big animal into the barn to be groomed and saddled. I watched. I listened to the terminology and the general conversations about riding and horses.

One time I needed to be the gate person as Amee couldn’t open a corral gate while leading the horse. I hoped she really did know how to put the halter on the horse since I had never done it. The horse decided to have some fun and back away, making us keep coming further into the corral. Then she let Amee put on the halter and lead her in for lessons. I figured out how to open and close the gate.

Then Amee decided she would take her coach up on the opportunity to ride in a dressage show. She needed to help with all the chores associated with looking after the horse before, during, and after the show. Her dad had grown up on a farm and could lend assistance in ways I took a long time to figure out. Yet the coach also told us the horse’s mane needed to be braided for competition. Since Amee only has one good hand, the coach looked at me and said, “Guess you’re braiding for her mom.” I knew how to braid hair. How hard could it be?

I Feel Like I Don’t Belong

It has been over three years since I started going out to the stables with Amee. I still feel like I don’t belong on many occasions. It has nothing to do with comments from others. It has nothing to do with not liking horses, for I found out that I enjoy helping groom them. There is something peaceful about brushing a horse or even feeding them a treat at the end of lessons. There are days I like to simply lean my head against them. Yet I know that I am out of my element. Put me in front of a computer to write something or chat with people and I know what to do.

Turmoil of the Unknown

There are times in this puzzle of life, that the box of pieces is shaken up and poured out. We feel the turmoil of the unknown. Challenges block our path and we feel out of our element. We aren’t sure what to do. But God knows all about what is happening. He might be redirecting us for reasons we don’t yet know. He might want us to learn something new. Most of all He longs for us to rely on Him for everything.

 In John 15:9-11 Jesus says,

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy many be in you and that your joy many be complete.

Do you ever feel like you don’t belong? We would love to hear from you. Comment below or contact us at HopeStreamRadio.

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